Cool Dream (Jon the Anti-Spy)
Jul. 8th, 2004 09:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
woodwardiocom-So, I had a dream in which some super-secret spy agency had decided to pick me up for questioning or execution or whathaveyou. Except I managed to convince the MIBs doing the acutal pickup that I was in fact an extremely deep cover agent being brought in for testing or reassignment or something else which I wasn't at liberty to discuss with them. So they started treating me respectfully.
-Then the testing started, most of which was designed to be nightmarish. Like, the tester was soft-spoken and had an accent, there was another conversation going on right behind me, the testing table was covered in random crap, etc. For the first test, I got three sheets of paper listing assorted auto shop equipment and parts, and was told I needed to replace the engine in a 1972 Dodge. I said, half-joking, "Do I need to describe how to do it using the equipment listed here, or is this just an inventory of the shop where I'll do the actual work? Tester gave me the evil eye and said, "How many more parts of this test do you intend to fail?"
-At which point one of the other random people in the room, who had been really unpleasant earlier, turns out to be a pyrotic, and lights herself on fire. (Apparently, this is a super-secret spy agency with superpowers, like the BPRD.) The point is clearly A) for her to distract me from an insane test, and B) to show off -- she was preening to the dozen or so random observers, etc. So, that went on for a minute, she shut off her flames, sat down, and I threw a glass of water on her. I then said, "In a week, everyone will know about that fire trick. In two weeks, everyone will know I threw a glass of water on you. In three weeks, you won't be able to do that fire trick without someone giggling and miming throwing water on you. You won't be doing that fire trick ever again." Which was a bit harsh of me, I thought, but I passed that part of the test.
-Then there was the part that involved public singing and dancing, and a guest appearance by a member of the Suspects community who sure looks and acts like a Bond villainess. She was disappointed in me for not dancing. And at one point I made a break for a clearly marked exit, but instead of fleeing, I just sat under the stairs. When the first searcher looked immediately under the stairs, I said, "Excellent! Good work. You guys are really on the ball. Stupid spies would have assumed I kept running." So apparently at that point I was still keeping up the pretense.
-And it ended on a high note that I don't remember, since the alarm went off, and I had to deal with a small power failure. Still, interesting dream. Probably flavored by current events in College Roomies From Hell, with a dose of "Tests designed to hit Jon's insecurities."
-Then the testing started, most of which was designed to be nightmarish. Like, the tester was soft-spoken and had an accent, there was another conversation going on right behind me, the testing table was covered in random crap, etc. For the first test, I got three sheets of paper listing assorted auto shop equipment and parts, and was told I needed to replace the engine in a 1972 Dodge. I said, half-joking, "Do I need to describe how to do it using the equipment listed here, or is this just an inventory of the shop where I'll do the actual work? Tester gave me the evil eye and said, "How many more parts of this test do you intend to fail?"
-At which point one of the other random people in the room, who had been really unpleasant earlier, turns out to be a pyrotic, and lights herself on fire. (Apparently, this is a super-secret spy agency with superpowers, like the BPRD.) The point is clearly A) for her to distract me from an insane test, and B) to show off -- she was preening to the dozen or so random observers, etc. So, that went on for a minute, she shut off her flames, sat down, and I threw a glass of water on her. I then said, "In a week, everyone will know about that fire trick. In two weeks, everyone will know I threw a glass of water on you. In three weeks, you won't be able to do that fire trick without someone giggling and miming throwing water on you. You won't be doing that fire trick ever again." Which was a bit harsh of me, I thought, but I passed that part of the test.
-Then there was the part that involved public singing and dancing, and a guest appearance by a member of the Suspects community who sure looks and acts like a Bond villainess. She was disappointed in me for not dancing. And at one point I made a break for a clearly marked exit, but instead of fleeing, I just sat under the stairs. When the first searcher looked immediately under the stairs, I said, "Excellent! Good work. You guys are really on the ball. Stupid spies would have assumed I kept running." So apparently at that point I was still keeping up the pretense.
-And it ended on a high note that I don't remember, since the alarm went off, and I had to deal with a small power failure. Still, interesting dream. Probably flavored by current events in College Roomies From Hell, with a dose of "Tests designed to hit Jon's insecurities."
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Date: 2004-07-09 08:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-09 12:16 pm (UTC)