The Difference Is...

[woodwardiocom]

Three parallel situations:

• "You didn't have a bike lock? No wonder it got stolen, you doofus."
  
• "You walked through that part of town at midnight waving around an expensive cell phone? You idiot, no wonder you got mugged!"
  
• "You were dressed like that when you were sexually assaulted? You kinda asked for it."

My social circles regard the first two as appropriate replies, and the third as absolutely not. I agree with that, but on analysis, am having trouble articulating the relevant distinction.

Edit: Many thanks for the answers thus far. They've helped.

Comments

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

I have never heard the second response to a mugging. There have been two street attacks on people I knew this year and the sympathy was pretty uniform, where I saw/heard opinions expressed. I don't think that the idea that being a victim of violence is your own damn fault is commonly expressed in my social circles.

I think you're getting good answers to your actual question elsewhere, so I'll just stick with the quibble.