[Roo] Waspinator Has Planz

[woodwardiocom]

Things my daughter should have at least one year of while growing up, whether she likes it or not:

• Swimming lessons.
• Music lessons, any instrument.
• Martial arts lessons.
• Participation in some team sport.
• Hmm...

Comments

[tamidon.livejournal.com]

Ice skating and skiing. they are both things that are hard to pick up as an adult and have social aspects,as in ski trips and skating parties, that can be a bummer not to be able to join

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I suspect you have to start skiing VERY young, then. I tried to learn at 15 (ski trips DID sound like fun) and discovered that skiing was no fun at all for me, as it involved being cold and falling down a lot on uncomfortably hard surfaces. Three or four trips in and it really didn't seem worth the money.

[heinleinfan.livejournal.com]

I've only been skiing once, but since then I've always thought casual skiing was about body type. By default, small kids have the right body type.
I went skiing for the first and only time when I was 18, and my experience was *awesome* and I took to it very easily and rarely fell. I'm a short chubby sort, with all my weight gathering in my hips, giving me a nice low center of gravity. My same age cousins did not have as much fun...they were both taller and much skinnier than me. I also remember noticing this during the half day "ski school" to learn. The shorter folks, rounder folks, and the other females seem to take to it faster than the taller, thinner folks and the men.
And the kids? Wow. There were groups of them, ages 6-10 in these day-care type groups and they just zipped around the lower slopes with no poles or anything, seemed as natural as walking for them.

Nothing worse than having a good run down a green slope then being showed up by an 8 year old, heh.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I'm only 5'4" and I'm female, but on the skinny side. I'm just pretty klutzy. (the official term is poor proprioception, but it works out to klutz.)

[ceo]

The problem, of course, is how to do these things without the result being a long-lasting distaste for the activity. I hated the crap out of piano lessons as a kid, and now I wish I had kept with it.

(Swimming lessons are a different matter, of course, as knowing how to not drown is kind of important.)

[fadethecat.livejournal.com]

This is sort of my take on the matter. There are several things which I enjoyed much more as soon as I knew I could choose to stop doing them, and hated so long as I had to do them. Martial arts, music lessons, sports, and art lessons are all on that list.

[anotherjen.livejournal.com]

Oh, I implore you not to force her to play a team sport. I was bad at sports as a child, and was often yelled at by my teammates, and it was awful. She can still get fit doing things like running, gymnastics, yoga, and dancing, without competing.

[fadethecat.livejournal.com]

Lordy, yes. It took me years and years to discover sports could be fun and not automatically hateful evil things because of Mandatory Team Sports as a child.

(That said, some sort of sport is surely a good plan, and many children do seem to enjoy the team ones.)

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Seconded, thirded, DEFINITELY. Team sports are organized torment for those of us without a natural aptitude.

[mzrowan.livejournal.com]

I would like to see all of these combined into one activity. Synchronized aquatic capoeira band?

[mzrowan.livejournal.com]

I'll chip in the other side of the story: my mother was so done with group activities from raising her first five children that she was quite happy to let me sit in at home alone watching TV or reading for the bulk of my childhood leisure time (and her horror stories about the work she had to do to support my eldest sister in her dance lessons kept me from ever asking for the one group activity I really wanted). I really wish she'd done more to encourage and support me to get out there and actually do something(s).

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

Well, you did turn out more-than-okay, so she may have been on to something...

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

My experience thus far is that I am extremely reluctant to cut into our very limited supply of unscheduled family time. The kids really really need swimming lessons, but I am not willing to drag them to anything not actually related to their survival during time when we could be going to the library, or hanging out at the playground. If and when they ask, that's a different story. I'm not sacrificing that stock of time to activities they aren't interested in in the first place.

[drwex]

This.

Our kids have expressed interest in various things at various times and we support them doing it while they care about it. We try not to invest too much money in it because they're likely to lose interest quickly. And periodically I check in with them about whether they'd like to be doing this or that sport, music, or other activity. So they know they've got the choice.

But I'll not force it on them, nor add any more mandatory things to their days than they already have.

[archangelbeth]

You could all go together to a public pool, perhaps?

Parent-baby swim lessons were part of the kid's baby-time.

[desiringsubject.livejournal.com]

We spent summers with a membership to a local pond near where my mom grew up. I have no idea how much the lessons cost, but we were all there together anyway. Not relevant to your life, of course, just the one that worked for my childhood.

[heinleinfan.livejournal.com]

I agree with swimming lessons and semi-agree with martial arts as a "requirement". Most Red Cross run swimming classes involve basic water first aid once the students are old enough, in addition to just knowing how to swim, and you guys do live on a coastline!

I think the absolute biggest benefit I got from martial arts lessons was that I was in a dojo where our Master was *very* intent on practical self defense matters. Our lessons were always divided where we would learn kata and the stylized fight moves and talk about the history of the style...but then half our lessons were very very much about not being a victim, 'common sense' things to do (like parking under a light in a parking lot), moves that would actually work in self defense situations (like eye poking) and things like that.

Even for the children in the class, it wasn't "oh, here's a move to get out of a choke hold" it was "if you don't want to be grabbed, you don't have to be. You need to yell 'I don't know this person who is grabbing me!' and kick and bite and get away, and get to an adult you know or a public place". And we would practice that, the adults and the kids together, you know? There are plenty of good benefits to a martial arts class but finding a teacher who can help teach young people, especially young girls, how not to be a victim...that's good stuff.

[dani-namaste.livejournal.com]

I would suggest exposure to some sort of foreign language, particularly Spanish or French. There's some evidence that it's MUCH easier to start learning when very young than it is to start learning once you get to middle school or high school.

Also, various sciency learning-type experiments. But then, I'm guessing that won't be a problem in your house :-)

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

Her daycare teacher is speaking Arabic to her, so we hope that'll stick.

[dani-namaste.livejournal.com]

I remember you saying that. There's a lot of good that can come from learning Arabic at an early age. A friend of mine is dating a Scottish Farsi interpreter who lives in Belgium. Apparently, it's a very good living.

[drwex]

However, if you're looking to expose your daughter to a variety of things, I would suggest some time in there related to manual labor; for example, at one of the work-for-food farm shares nearby. Also, some time in a shop, or a bicycle repair store, might be appreciated.

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

Also, some time in a shop, or a bicycle repair store, might be appreciated.

Some of that will be in-house, since we have a workshop-ish setup in the basement. I hope to get opportunities to teach her circuit board stuff-n-solder and how to build your own desktop PC from components (though I suspect that latter skill will be really irrelevant by the time she's of age).

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

Alice has loved everything she's done so far except soccer--and she was very gung ho to try that. I think an appropriate commitment varies with age. Most classes we've done with Alice last 6-10 weeks at a stretch, although some are semester-long commitments and some are occasional drop-in activities.

And then I wrote a long comment detailing all the different classes and activities she has done, but that's probably better done as a separate conversation. To sum up: we've done lots of things with Alice (music, ballet, arts & crafts, yoga, gymnastics, soccer, tumbling, swimming, farm camp, theatre camp...I'm probably missing one) and I'd be happy to talk with you about ideas and options and what's worked well for us.

[desiringsubject.livejournal.com]

I think that they are all great. And while I never ended up being a team sport person, I hear clearly that you're not saying SHE MUST DO THIS FOR HER WHOLE CHILDHOOD, but rather that she must try it once. And that seems fair.

I would add dance to the list. Martial arts does SOME of the same things as dance, e.g. balance, discipline, but not others. I think a year of ballet, modern, even tap ::grins:: (I liked tap a lot) teach things about grace and rhythm that music + martial arts can't quite (excepting Capoeira).

My best argument for dance lessons: One of Fred Astaire's legs was shorter than the other so his doctor told his mom that he should take dance lessons lest he be awkward his whole life. They were seriously concerned that he'd never walk without a pronounced limp. So, um, that turned out okay for them. Long term good monetary investment, too, as it would turn out.

[dani-namaste.livejournal.com]

Let it also be known that I fully support joint trips to Walden Pond or other beach-like locations when Bump has reached the fully-formed stage. If my baby turns out to be anything like me, she will be unable to resist being in water for long.

[minerva42]

Definitely on the music lessons. I'm just now watching this:



My dad gave me a harmonica years ago but this is the first time I've seen someone actually describe and demonstrate the different ways you can get clean notes out of it. I've been kicking myself for not learning to read music when I was younger - I think it will take a lot more of my available focus and effort to learn this now than it would have in elementary school.

[minkrose]

I'd like to add that when I was growing up, most of this stuff was done with my parents. Skiing, swimming, practicing for sports... it's more fun if you do it with other people, and it feels less like a "have-to" if your parents are doing it too. Also, skiing is best begun young -- my sister started at age 3 or 4, and she's still quite good. Nashoba Valley is a great place to learn, too.

I didn't play soccer until high school, but I still made the varsity team my junior year. I was too injured to play my senior year, so I was the lead in the play. Also, I did theatre throughout my childhood. Ballet was the one thing I did that caused trouble -- as I grew up, I didn't fit in at the studio near our house (they were focused on, um, ideal female figures? and competition), and the next studio was much further away. It took up two hours a week, which none of us could really afford to lose from homework or my parents work. Very stressful. Then I started getting injured, something which continued steadily through soccer. Eventually I had to give it all up.

I did really love the piano, much in the same way that I loved weaving at summer camp! But I don't have the room for a piano or a loom in the house, so I don't do those things anymore, either.

[shaix.livejournal.com]

I have similar ideas for Z, but I agree with the tribe here who support that she shouldn't be forced to continue if she isn't into it.

I have been thinking about 6 week commitments to things, especially during the summer months when he'll have more unscheduled time-- to try new things. If he isn't into it, put the idea in a box till next year to give it another try.

DJ is taking Z for swimming and tumbling lessons (not the same class, mind) this summer, and I think it will be time for the two of them to actually do things together, rather than dropping him off and picking him up. It may be a lofty and perhaps unachievable goal, but lessons and sports go much more smoothly if there is some direct parental involvement (at least until he's old enough to say "Okay, Mom, I got this.").

I hated sports as a child, but in retrospect, I think if my parents had helped me, for example, learn the rules and the roles of the positions and practice my hand-eye coordination during the week, or even NOTICED that I HATED IT, it would have changed a lot of how my childhood was shaped. Similarly, DJ was forced to play the trumpet in high school, and never picked it up again.

On the other hand, DJ's and my childhoods were not what I could call normal and healthy, so there's that, too.

To add to your list of ideas:
* Art classes - painting, sculpting etc. Every little kid should wear a smock at least once.
* Languages (to learn with her)
* Tumbling/acrobatics
* Perhaps lessons at home on how to prepare simple non-cooking foods like sandwiches and salads.

Roo is going to have so much fun!!

[supercheesegirl.livejournal.com]

With mine on the way, I've been thinking a lot about this too and reflecting on my own upbringing. As a kid I was desperately awkward and shy and pretty much refused to do anything except an occasional art class because I was so terrified of having to talk to other people. I think my parents must have been really frustrated trying to think of something that would help me, but they were also pretty young and cost was a factor too.

We tried dance when I was three. I spent the entire class spinning around by myself in a corner in my Smurf tutu, completely delighted with my ballet moves and not interested in anything else. The teacher thought perhaps I wasn't quite ready yet, and my mom was too ashamed to ever bring me back. I really wish we'd tried again when I was older because now I absolutely love dance classes - they pull me out of my awkwardness and make me stop thinking - which could have been really good for me as a kid.

My dad threatened me with karate regularly, and I would plead and plead not to be forced to do it. Now I really wish he had. It could have been really helpful for my confidence.

I also had a dread of team sports as a kid, but now I've heard about F's childhood experience, and how soccer gave him a way to fit in after moving to a new town where he was obviously not going to be a good candidate for peewee football, which is what most of the kids were doing. Soccer ended up being really, really good for him. Also, F hasn't played soccer regularly since high school but he's just naturally far more fit than I am, and I don't know if that came from playing a sport or what but it's worth cultivating. The one team sport I ever did was volleyball in 8th grade, and that was actually a pretty good experience, but by that point I was old enough to get past my fear and just have fun with it.

Cheerleading, in 6th grade, was a spectacular failure, but it also provided some of my absolute favorite memories of time with my dad. He spent hours and hours and hours helping me try to learn how to do a cartwheel. I still can't, but I'll always remember his patience and faith in me. So, there's that.

I never had music lessons as a kid but when I got to high school and joined marching band I remember this shock of finally fitting in and finding something that suited me, and wishing someone had thought of putting an instrument in my hands earlier. By the time I started with drums it was too late and I was too into the whole high school thing to ever really practice.

So, based on the assumption that any child of mine and F's will be something like us, I feel pretty strongly that a team sport, a martial art, a musical instrument, and dance classes will be part of my kid's world. At some point, hopefully when kiddo shows an interest.