[Roo] With Strangers

[woodwardiocom]

While Roo was in the hospital a few weeks back, there came a moment one night when buxom_bey was sick enough herself to be incapcitated, and I was direly short of sleep. We decided I would stay up until morning, when I would call in more family to look after Roo. The nurse on duty said to me, "Y'know, we're trained professionals, and she's hooked up to a monitor. We can take care of things while you sleep."

I must have looked at her like she had two heads, both crazy, 'cause what went through my mind was, "I can't leave my sick daughter in the care of strangers. Not under any circumstances. Are you insane? She's my daughter and she's sick and helpless and I won't have her wake up alone."

(What I actually said was more like, "Thank you, but we'll manage until my mother shows up." Fortunately.)

Comments

[taura-g.livejournal.com]

Heh. I felt that way about Aries for a long time, but then I realized that 1. he was an adult and 2. it was killing me with how much he was sick.

So, yes, I very much understand. *hugs*

[whswhs.livejournal.com]

I have the impression that that reaction is utterly characteristic of first-time parents, and that by the time you get to number three you'll likely be a lot more blasé.

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

by the time you get to number three you'll likely be a lot more blasé.

Since any child of ours has a 75% chance of having MCAD (like Roo) or being a carrier, we're not rolling those dice again.

[whswhs.livejournal.com]

My mistake; I had lost track of the special circumstances. I hope you will accept my apologies.

[archangelbeth]

Heh. Early on, I was having a bit more of the "I have no clue what to do! I need experts here!" opposite effect. Of course, I'd just had a c-section and been on Mag-Sulfate for several hours...

You can also use the "I couldn't live with myself if she was awake and didn't see one of her parents" line. Even if the kid herself is unlikely to be fazed, it's a Parent Thing. *wry*

[wombattery.livejournal.com]

When Alex was born, we kept him in the hospital room with us as much as possible while Stephanie recovered from the C-section. The nice lady from the nursery came by a couple of times to see if we wanted her to take him off our hands for a while, but we never did. I got the impression that there hadn't been many births that week, and they were kinda bored and looking for something to do.

[spinrabbit.livejournal.com]

Hrm. When Snert has been in the hospital, we have been willing to have the parent on duty asleep on a cot or in a comfy chair in her room. I think the last time (when she was about seven) I was even comfortable leaving her for long enough to go get a cup of coffee.

We also let her be alone in the company of hospital personnel in the play room on the ward at Children's, but that's safer since no treatment happens there. It would take a lot for me to leave her (or Bear if he were not in a fit mental state to advocate for himself) alone in a hospital, in the sense of leaving the building or allowing treatment to take place without going through me first. Hospitals are dangerous.

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad that you had the help you needed from family to keep Roo company even while Bobbi was also sick.

It's easy to say that you would never do something that you've never had to seriously contemplate doing.

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

It's easy to say that you would never do something that you've never had to seriously contemplate doing.

Well, yes. Time will tell.

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. Time will tell.

We dearly hope not.

Check your privilege a little.

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

Could you elaborate?

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

There's a certain ring of self-congratulation to this post, and much of the subsequent conversation. Yes, you are all very good parents, with high standards.

You were able to do what you did because you are very lucky (especially to have extra adult hands available, and to have all this hit on a weekend - on a Tuesday night after you'd already used up all your sick leave, you'd probably have less cause to pat yourself on the back). I am pleased for you, but I wish I didn't find you so intolerably smug right now.

[spinrabbit.livejournal.com]

"on a Tuesday night after you'd already used up all your sick leave" was the kind of thing I had in mind when I said "it would take a lot". For what it's worth.

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

Huh. I wasn't going for self-congratulation. At the time, I was rather surprised by the strength of my emotion in the face of a very reasonable suggestion by the nurse, and I was attempting to convey that. The intensity of fatherhood still catches me off guard a lot.

On the other hand, I'm often guilty of both smugness and unexamined privilege, so I can't say there's none of that going on...

[anotherjen.livejournal.com]

*nod* Good point.

[taura-g.livejournal.com]

Hm, very good point. I *had* to leave Aries at the hospital because I was fast becoming our only source of income and bouncing between hospital, work and home.

I hated having to do it, because I know he hardly ever slept in the hospital unless I was next to him. But when you don't have a lot of options, you do what you have to.

[anotherjen.livejournal.com]

Huh. I'm not like that. Especially if I were still on the premises, I'd happily let trained medical personnel take care of a sick Ilana. But I've been a single parent for almost Ilana's entire life, so I guess it's different. I know I can't do it all myself.

[dani-namaste.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that everything worked out in the end.

[drwex]

I've seen this from both sides, in that I had some of these reactions and watched Pygment have some of them. Fortunately we tend to balance each other out.

If you've read my LJ today you'll see that I'm dealing with a VERY strong parental reaction myself right now.