Poly Filter Now Active
Jul. 24th, 2004 06:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
woodwardiocom[Un-filtered now that I'm out of the closet.]
-This is the first post to my poly filter. If I added you by accident, let me know by comment or email. If I failed to add you by accident, you're not reading this, but I'll make another "Anyone want in?" post a few months down the road.
'Kay, how to start? Um, might as well address a few of the comments from the opt-in post:
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tisana: I barely have the hang of this poly thing, so it's good to see what others are dealing with.
tiaelle: I am always up for hearing how others handle their polyness. Especially when it is working for them.
-Do I have the hang of it? Is it working for me? Well, in the most superficial way, hell-yeah. Honestly, I have so many beautiful women in my life, I feel like I've slipped into a parallel dimension, where geeks dominate the Earth, and the average person-on-the-street knows who Wolverine and Gollum are. On a slightly more deep level, yep, it's mostly working. The very little drama that's been in my circle has been pretty easy to soothe. Maybe there'll be more in the future, maybe not.
-On the inside-Jon's-head level, I have worries, which may not map to anything in reality. Interestingly, very few of them are about "Does poly actually work?" I don't seem to get jealous and possessive. Two times that I recall, when I've been in monogamous relationships, my girlfirends of the time cheated on me; my responses were respectively laughter (at the thought I'd feel threatened by the guy in question) and mild titillation (that time it was a woman). I've also always felt being monogamous myself was a bit of an effort. I can only recall one time when I fooled around specifically outside the rules, but I've often felt the impulse. So, on an instinctual level, I believe it works for me, and on an observational level, I see other people doing it with some success, so I believe it can work. My worries more tend to be about uncertainty and insecurity. I won't get into them at length here; I'll save 'em for a future post.
lara68: I can't even begin to say how much this amuses me.
-As Larissa so indirectly reminded me, when we had our brief relationship back in the mid-90s, she was engaged, and I was mildly surprised. It didn't last long; she compared me to a Twinkie ("Nice, but not good for me.") and moved 1,000 miles away. I still count her as a friend, but I often forget to include her when recounting my poly history.
maedbh7: Always up for chatting poly, the good the bad and the ugly.
-No ugly so far. Not in the ugly-scene sense, or in the purely descriptive sense -- some are beautiful, some are cute, some are statuesque, some are bite-size, but no ugly.
boadiccea: I may ask you to remove me at a later date, though, if I find I just can't keep up with it.
-I'm not planning on putting out a zillion posts a day, forever. The first week may be a little high-volume, but it'll taper off.
-Topics for future posts: "Women in my Life", Transitivity, Too Good To Last, Circles Around Circles, and High School/College.
-This is the first post to my poly filter. If I added you by accident, let me know by comment or email. If I failed to add you by accident, you're not reading this, but I'll make another "Anyone want in?" post a few months down the road.
'Kay, how to start? Um, might as well address a few of the comments from the opt-in post:
tisana: I barely have the hang of this poly thing, so it's good to see what others are dealing with.tiaelle: I am always up for hearing how others handle their polyness. Especially when it is working for them.-Do I have the hang of it? Is it working for me? Well, in the most superficial way, hell-yeah. Honestly, I have so many beautiful women in my life, I feel like I've slipped into a parallel dimension, where geeks dominate the Earth, and the average person-on-the-street knows who Wolverine and Gollum are. On a slightly more deep level, yep, it's mostly working. The very little drama that's been in my circle has been pretty easy to soothe. Maybe there'll be more in the future, maybe not.
-On the inside-Jon's-head level, I have worries, which may not map to anything in reality. Interestingly, very few of them are about "Does poly actually work?" I don't seem to get jealous and possessive. Two times that I recall, when I've been in monogamous relationships, my girlfirends of the time cheated on me; my responses were respectively laughter (at the thought I'd feel threatened by the guy in question) and mild titillation (that time it was a woman). I've also always felt being monogamous myself was a bit of an effort. I can only recall one time when I fooled around specifically outside the rules, but I've often felt the impulse. So, on an instinctual level, I believe it works for me, and on an observational level, I see other people doing it with some success, so I believe it can work. My worries more tend to be about uncertainty and insecurity. I won't get into them at length here; I'll save 'em for a future post.
lara68: I can't even begin to say how much this amuses me.-As Larissa so indirectly reminded me, when we had our brief relationship back in the mid-90s, she was engaged, and I was mildly surprised. It didn't last long; she compared me to a Twinkie ("Nice, but not good for me.") and moved 1,000 miles away. I still count her as a friend, but I often forget to include her when recounting my poly history.
maedbh7: Always up for chatting poly, the good the bad and the ugly.-No ugly so far. Not in the ugly-scene sense, or in the purely descriptive sense -- some are beautiful, some are cute, some are statuesque, some are bite-size, but no ugly.
boadiccea: I may ask you to remove me at a later date, though, if I find I just can't keep up with it.-I'm not planning on putting out a zillion posts a day, forever. The first week may be a little high-volume, but it'll taper off.
-Topics for future posts: "Women in my Life", Transitivity, Too Good To Last, Circles Around Circles, and High School/College.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-24 04:40 pm (UTC)