The Difference Is...

[woodwardiocom]

Three parallel situations:

• "You didn't have a bike lock? No wonder it got stolen, you doofus."
  
• "You walked through that part of town at midnight waving around an expensive cell phone? You idiot, no wonder you got mugged!"
  
• "You were dressed like that when you were sexually assaulted? You kinda asked for it."

My social circles regard the first two as appropriate replies, and the third as absolutely not. I agree with that, but on analysis, am having trouble articulating the relevant distinction.

Edit: Many thanks for the answers thus far. They've helped.

Comments

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

I agree that the victims of property crimes don't deserve blame for their losses, and that blame isn't helpful. I even agree that locking windows and shutting doors are reasonable precautions.

I haven't kept up with the current folklore about forms of dress, but I assure that interpreting anyone's clothing as a sexual invitation is an error. If your lover meets you at the door in sexy lingerie and a come-hither grin, the invitation is the grin.

Dressing in any one way or another does NOT make sexual assault less likely - that's a myth. Dressing in any one way or another doesn't even make it less likely that a woman will be blamed for any assault she experiences. Whatever you were wearing, they'll find a way to make it wrong. You've been ignoring people making that point all morning, which makes your current explanation that you don't know if dress makes a difference come off as disingenuous.

The correct take here is not "either/or," or "both/and", it's "both/but..."