The Difference Is...

[woodwardiocom]

Three parallel situations:

• "You didn't have a bike lock? No wonder it got stolen, you doofus."
  
• "You walked through that part of town at midnight waving around an expensive cell phone? You idiot, no wonder you got mugged!"
  
• "You were dressed like that when you were sexually assaulted? You kinda asked for it."

My social circles regard the first two as appropriate replies, and the third as absolutely not. I agree with that, but on analysis, am having trouble articulating the relevant distinction.

Edit: Many thanks for the answers thus far. They've helped.

Comments

[rednikki.livejournal.com]

One difference is that the third applies only to women, and implies that men have no self-control.

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

Do the first two imply that bike-thieves and muggers have no self-control?

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

Oddly, we tend to think of rapists as impulsive, and bike thieves and muggers as somewhat rational economic actors. It takes minimal planning to steal a bike, and you're highly likely to get away with it, but mugging is a high-risk way to acquire money, and may be done somewhat on impulse. Comparatively, stranger rape takes planning.

IMO, if you can lurk in an alley for hours waiting for a distracted woman in impractical shoes to happen by alone, you have self control.

[whswhs.livejournal.com]

It doesn't take all men having no self-control. It only takes one bad one.