HP6

-Oh my god . . . Neville is made of chocolate!

(Note: Minor spoilers are emerging in the comments.)

Last Saturday [HP]

-Forgot to mention an incident from last Saturday. I was visiting the local bookstore to pick up the latest Wired, and passed a marginally-clean gentleman sitting outside, reading the latest Harry Potter (very near the end already) and assorted grade schoolers emerging from the store. As I reached the door, the guy yelled, "Oh my god! I can't believe what just happened! He just . . . " I managed to avoid a spoiler by hurrying inside and shutting the door firmly. As I exited, I was faced with the sight of the gentleman curled up on the sidewalk, as the kids beat the crap out of him, chanting:

Spoily-cat! Spoily-cat!
Spoils all the fun!
Hit him with our books
Then watch him run!
Spoily-cat tells
Who lives, who dies!
Spoily-cat! Spoily-cat!
Hope he fries!

-As he sobbed, bled, and begged for forgiveness, I walked past, cheerful in the knowledge that the next generation could enforce social order without my help.

(I was momentarily tempted to point out that they weren't going to be able to "watch him run" after they broke his legs with their authentic Quidditch bats, but I decided my attention to detail would not be welcome.)