Neologism of the Day: Squee-lightful

Squee-lightful: Used to describe something so delightful, it makes you squee.

(Eh? Oh. Squee: A squeal of glee.)

-And I've got half a new "guy walks into a bar" joke stuck in my head. I know it ends with the lines "This beer tastes like piss," and "That's because phylogeny recapitulates ontogeny," but the set up is proving tricky . . .

Pretentious Bar Jokes

-Kurt Gödel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?" Gödel says, "I'm having trouble deciding."

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-A crazy man walks into a bar. Julian Jaynes is bartending. The crazy man says, "Give me the strongest thing you got!" Jaynes pours him a drink, and he swigs it back. The crazy man says, "Will this stop the voices in my head?" Jaynes says, "Sorry, no, this is the origin of unconsciousness."

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-Douglas Hofstadter walks into a bar, sits down, orders a drink. He says to the bartender, "Stop me if you've heard this one: 'Douglas Hofstadter walks into a bar, sits down, orders a drink. He says to the bartender, "Stop me if you've heard this one: 'Douglas Hofstadter walks into a bar, sits down, orders a drink. He says to the bartender, "Stop me if you've heard this one . . . (Continue until stopped.)

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-Edit, another two: Zeno walks into a bar. His friends, obviously drunk, wave from a table, and call out, "Hey, we started without you!" Zeno looks sad, and leaves.

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-Zeno walks into another bar. The barkeep sets a mug on the bar, and says, "What'll it be?" Zeno says, "Keep filling it halfway until I tell you to stop." The barkeep says, "No way, my arm is still sore from last time."