Feedback Mechanisms

-So, I've been getting some advice on my public demeanor from a number of sources. Veddy veddy interesting. Must solicit more data:

-Do I come across as arrogant? Elitist? As "an observer but not a participant in life"?

(What I'm usually aiming for is "reserved", "very respectful of personal boundaries", and "not making an ass of myself, of which I have a nigh-pathological fear". But I may be overshooting.)

-I'm interested in in-person reactions here. How I come across in LJ and email is a whole 'nother animal.

Followup Topic

-This is a sidebar to my previous post, addressing one reason I'm reserved. It's simple at heart: I'm 6'2" (about 188cm). This makes me taller than 93% of the male population, and taller than every woman I've ever met. (Indeed, I'm at least half a foot taller than 95% of all women.)

-This means that some people find me intimidating, especially if I get in their personal space. So, when I meet new people, I err on the side of caution. I have very restrained body language until I am positive they won't mind. And, given that I have trouble reading people (I possibly have a faint touch of Asperger's), I usually fall back on escalation-in-kind: I wait until they hug me before I ever hug them.

-The problem here is that people end up thinking I don't want to be hugged, that I have a highly defended personal space. Noooooo. I don't get a fraction of the cuddling I would like. Honest.

(Addendum: The fact that people don't think of me as tall probably indicates that I'm doing a good job of Not Looming. I'll call that a win.)